yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
