I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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