just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
