Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
