I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
