I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
