I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
