just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
