The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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