Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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