And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
