I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
