I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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