I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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