Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
