Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I intend to get homeless drunk
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
