this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
