...so i touched it.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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