My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
