yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize