a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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