I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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