Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
