finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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