There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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