they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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