It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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