So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
