Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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