the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
