I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize