Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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