i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
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I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
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I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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