Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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