love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
