well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
