no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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