I looked at my own cervix.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She has the best kind of daddy issues
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
