upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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