Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
