hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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