just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
