is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
