Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
