The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
