aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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