I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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