So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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