I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
