If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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