Got a toothbrush?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
