I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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