Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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