just tell him i said nine months
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
if only i could text you this smell
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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