I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
