Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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