I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
