Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
