Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
