My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
