so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No subtext here. People are naked.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
