Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
