Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize