check it out our google latitudes are spooning
one might say we're banned from that church
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
