at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
